


on the stranger's side of your door

by allhaunting



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (for right now?), Found Family, Implied Unrequited Love, It’s About The State Parks and Yearning, Kline Family, Longing, M/M, North Cove House, Pre-Slash, Roadtrip, but obviously not canon compliant because i do not see you @cw_spn, season 13
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24294793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allhaunting/pseuds/allhaunting
Summary: There are over 10,000 state parks in the U.S. Castiel and Kelly take some time to see just a few.
Relationships: Castiel & Jack Kline, Castiel & Kelly Kline (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	on the stranger's side of your door

**Author's Note:**

> caskelly nation lemme hear y’all 
> 
> looking to make this a series with a different park in each part. emphasis on “looking to” because i’m unreliable and generally terrible, but terrific at abandoning things. 
> 
> (i love state parks but i have been to maybe eight my whole life, so most of these are purely based on research and my imagination, but all are real locations that you should consider visiting when miss rona leaves us alone)
> 
> unbeta’d as always because who doesn’t live for the thrill of grammatical errors? title from “why we ever” by hayley williams 
> 
> enjoy!

_**GRAYLAND BEACH STATE PARK, WASHINGTON** _

It’s a ten minute drive from North Cove to Grayland Beach, not including the added three minutes spent at the gas station around the corner from the house. The truck needs a quick top-off and Jack is eager to get the bags of ice for them once Kelly’s gone in to pay for everything.

“Will this be enough?” Jack says, frowning at the truck bed. He’s lined the bags up neatly next to one another, although they’ll undoubtedly tumble over the second they pull out of the parking lot. “It could get really warm tomorrow. What if it all melts?”

“Three bags will suffice. We’re already going overboard a bit.” Castiel gets the gas cap screwed back on with a handful of clicks and ushers Jack back into the truck just as he sees Kelly approaching from over his shoulder. She waves the receipt in the air like a flag and mouths “let’s go.”

The entrance fee is waved since the height of camping season doesn’t actually start for another month, which means the beach will be sparsely crowded, something Kelly is grateful for. “You’d be surprised how very few beaches you get to visit while you’re on the campaign trail.” From the backseat, Jack leans forward and wraps his arms around his mother with his chin on her shoulder. He asks her to tell him about Washington D.C. Before pulling away, Castiel thanks the attendant for her kindness and asks for a map and a copy of their entrance ticket anyway. He pins it to the sun visor just above his head.

The road that leads up to the campgrounds is winding but scenic; greenery lines the asphalt and occasionally the ocean peaks through the tree line. It’s technically the same beach connected to their own North Cove yard, but seeing the edges of the water expand out to a blue-white horizon much more vast than their own little piece of land lends to the excitement.

“I can set up the tent, right?” The spot they find is slightly secluded but still close enough to be considered sociable if anyone so chose to engage them. Castiel and Kelly get a quick start on moving bags and coolers from the back while Jack eagerly leverages himself over the side railing by standing on the tire well. He already has his hands on the tent bag.

“Of course you can hon, but how about we pick out a good spot first? Then we can get rolling on the tent situation,” Kelly says. They packed light for this particular excursion but the humidity already has a thin sheen of sweat building on her forehead. She spares a smile Jack before turning to share a knowing look with Castiel.

“Awesome.” It’s a quick flash, but for a moment they both hear Dean’s voice in Jack’s response. He rocks himself back on his heels while holding the side of the truck bed and jumps off, making it sway just slightly, rushing off to inspect the land for an optimal tent location like he’s being paid for it.

Castiel puts the final cooler on the ground at their feet.

“Think he’ll have this much energy the whole way to Kansas?” Kelly asks, leaning into his side against the open trunk door. He feels the light brush of her hair as a breeze comes through the nearby trees. Like so many times before, a rush of love fills him—he has his family so close, has them safe and by his side—and he follows that feeling with a quick kiss to the top of her head. The buzz of insects is the only real sound around them. He’s grounded.

“I think we’ve yet to discover a way to tire him out,” Castiel feels Kelly giggle against him in response. “Although I think it’s his curiosity that keeps him going. So eager to learn about everything and anything. I appreciate it.”

Kelly hums in agreement. “I can’t say he necessarily got that from me. I was more type-A as a kid. But maybe it’s just a nephilim thing.”

Castiel doesn’t know what to say. The answer that lives on his tongue isn’t one he’s proud of, the answer closer to the truth than anything else: there haven’t been enough of them that lived as long as Jack has. He doesn’t want to dwell, not when this is supposed to be their vacation. Not when Kelly is still healing. So he presses one more gentle kiss to the crown of her hair and moves to grab their bags to the spot Jack has picked out just a few yards away.

The tent, much to Jack’s dismay, is not quite as easy to set up as all the YouTube videos had convinced him it would be. He says as much when Kelly pulls out the instruction booklet and helps him figure out just where things went wrong. Eventually they’re able to call it a success and move themselves in, verging on exhausted as the afternoon sun beats down. Castiel regrets not grabbing another bag of ice.

Kelly ignores the “But Dean let me!” argument after cracking open two beers, one for herself and one for Castiel, and gives her son the option between Sprite and Root Beer, stern brow set in his direction.

Jack takes a picture of all three drinks after Castiel hands out their sandwiches and fires off a text before pocketing his phone with a small, secret grin.

“Who was that for?” Kelly asks between bites.

“Dean.” Jack takes a loud sip of his soda. “I thought he’d laugh at it. I told him we were all three ‘having beers’.” He looks pleased with his own joke, tapping the top of his Root Beer for emphasis. There’s a quiet ‘buzz buzz’ from his pocket and Jack grabs for his phone once again.

He laughs, flipping his phone around to show Kelly and Castiel the screen. “He said ‘looks like you guys are having fun. We’ll see you in a few days. Steal a seashell for me.’” He gives it another glance before setting the phone down by his shin and works steadily on his lunch. Castiel feels Kelly’s eyes on him, her worry evident if the sudden tension in the tent is anything to go by. For once, Jack is seemingly oblivious and Castiel is grateful—his own text history with Dean is slim at the moment, sparse messages and one word check-ins going back weeks at a time. Not exactly a fight, but not exactly friendly. When Castiel had brought up staying in North Cove for a while to help Kelly get back on her feet and gain her bearings after being brought back, Dean went cold. He pretended to be interested when Sam was around and asking questions but in the evenings, Castiel found himself alone in any given room, the quiet eating away at him knowing Dean was purposefully avoiding him. Broaching the subject was out of the question, unless he was ready for a fight, and Dean hadn’t been pulling any punches as of late. It was easier this way. It was easier to leave everything unsaid if it meant not having to put out a forest fire.

The gentle foot pressing at his own breaks Castiel out of his own thoughts. Kelly, gracious as always, reaches over to clink her bottle against the neck of his. It’s wordless, but sometimes between the two of them it’s all that needs to be said. All over again, Castiel is so grateful for her. He offers a smile that Kelly returns and drinks his beer, letting condensation drip onto his shorts.

“Can we go test the kite soon?”

  
  


Three towels, one mini-cooler, a backpack of beach essentials, and one kite.

Kelly happily surveys the long stretch of sand with a hand pressed to her brow to shield from the sun. “This is perfect. Couldn’t have picked a better time of year to do this.” They’re one of four other families gathered on the beach, all spread out and staggered to allow for maximum privacy. If the sun wasn’t a factor, the weather would be just a touch cool and cloudy, and a strong breeze eases the humidity that lingers at the campsite tucked away in the more forested area. Castiel agrees; its ideal.

The view is too much to pass up. He snaps a picture of the coast, catching a gentle rolling wave and a seagull floating in from the west. Jack and Kelly are almost cut off frame, kneeling in the sand to prepare the kite. In what he knows is a cowardly move, Castiel sends it only to Sam with the simple caption “Grayland is wonderful” and closes his phone. Sam never asked to be the string between two tin can telephones, but it’s the role he accepts on their behalf more than half the time. When his phone buzzes back to life, he finds a picture message from Sam: a poorly lit photo of the storage room on the second floor, Dean standing on his tip-toes to reach a dusty shelf, clearly unaware that Sam even took the picture. He can see Sam’s blurry thumbs up as well, the caption reading “man, bet you wish you were in this dark, cramped room instead! (looks awesome, miss you guys!)” His heart clenches up tight. A moment of weakness leads to him zooming in on Dean: his face scrunched up in concentration, the tip of his tongue poking out between his lips, hair mussed. He looks beautiful.

A part of him would happily take being in that dingy storage room if it meant he could be close to Dean again.

An indignant squawk breaks him out of his thoughts. At his left, a seagull watches him curiously. It bobs it’s head once, twice, then tilts.

“Are you missing someone too?” He asks it. Beady black eyes stare back unresponsive. Instead, it approaches him with more confidence, searching for food. Castiel sets his mouth in a frown, looking around himself.

“I don’t think I’m supposed to feed you. For your own health, at least.” Seemingly the bird understands and waddles away with another loud squawk. Dissatisfied. Castiel watches it merge into a small crowd of other seagulls and nestle amongst it’s family. Again, he aches. Guilty, he aches.

“Woah! It’s going! Hey, Cas, look! It’s going!” He turns to see Jack and Kelly gently jogging back from where they had run to get the kite up and catching the wind. Jack is beyond ecstatic. Their bare feet leave prints in the sand, washed away only seconds later by another wave. Both of them are smiling at him. The waves pull up and pool at their ankles. He thinks of being without them again, stuck in the Empty. Thinks of his last moments with Kelly that night in May, of Jack’s voice calling out to him before the Empty silenced everything again, left him in the dark. The waves roll in and pull out. They tug.

He’ll never let anything take his family away again.

Shame creeps up and takes hold of him; how could he be so selfish? To wish he was with Sam and Dean when he was supposed to be enjoying his time with Jack and Kelly? Why does he always feel like he’s supposed to choose between families, hoping one will finally stick?

“Hey. You look like you’re about to throw up,” Kelly comes to kneel in front of him, taking up the whole of his vision. Her voice is light, almost joking, but he can see concern in the press of her lips. Behind them, Jack watches his kite glide past a flock of small birds. He’s content.

Castiel shrugs. “My mind is...elsewhere. I apologize, I’m trying to be more present...” he casts a glance at his phone, “...I just can’t seem to stop thinking.” It finishes as a whisper. If they had been any closer to the water, he doubts Kelly would have heard him over the water hitting the shore.

She tucks a loose hair behind her ear and sits more heavily on her haunches. With the sun at her shoulder, she glows; here, just like anywhere else, she’s beautiful. After a beat, Kelly reaches out and strokes a loose hand across Castiel’s cheek to draw him back in, bring him back in from the own depths of his mind. She’s patient.

“Give it time. I know it hurts now Cas, but it doesn’t last forever.”

“What if...what if he—“ before Castiel can even finish, Kelly comes down onto her knees in front of him, hands on either sides of his arms.

“Then he’s a dumbass. I know there’s about a million ways you could have ended that sentence, but that’s my answer for all of it, okay?” She’s stern. She holds him steady and doesn’t let go. Castiel feels like he could come apart right here, could open the floodgates and let all of it drown there in the ocean just a few feet from them, and Kelly would pick him back up after, dust him off and take him home. Not that he knows where home really is anymore, but he’s confident she could figure it out for the both of them.

“I just wish he’d talk to me.”

“Do you want me to help? When we get to Kansas?” Castiel isn’t sure what he wants anymore. He thinks Dean would interpret that all wrong, would see it like choosing sides and that Castiel had chosen Kelly over him. He can see that scowl, can hear the scoff and the sound of a glass tumbler as it finds the wooden desk with a harsh clack. Can feel the dread crawl from his chest down to the soles of his feet, knowing he’s finally put the last nail in the coffin.

“He’d take that personally, I think,” Castiel offers back, letting her put the pieces together. He’s never...explicitly told her anything. Sometimes he thinks if he says it out loud, the delicate balance will break and the world will learn all at once that from the very beginning, he’s been in love with Dean Winchester.

But he knows he lacks transparency when it comes to Kelly. And, of course, she isn’t stupid.

“Is everything okay?” The kite is tucked underneath Jack’s armpit when he approaches, looking nervous. His pants are rolled up past his ankles but still dark with water and sand, and his hair is tousled from the ocean air.

“Yeah baby, everything’s fine. Did the kite stop working?” Kelly brushes sand off Jack’s knee for him and looks up to meet his eyes.

“The wind died down, I’ll have to wait for a while. But that’s okay, I was hoping we could walk down the beach a bit further maybe? I read on the map that there’s a rocky area just half a mile from here where crabs like to gather this time of year.” Jack looks back and forth between Kelly and Castiel, gauging for an reaction in either of them. As though they could deny him much of anything. It makes Castiel feel like a real parent, even just for a moment. For a while, he felt like a fraud for trying to be that—he was just in the right place at the right time when everything went down with Dagon—but the moment Jack hugged him at the bunker...something blossomed and grew into what they have now. It still feels like it’s growing each day.

“I’d like that,” Castiel says, works his way up into a position that mirrors Kelly’s. “We can come back for dinner once we done.” Jack beams at him.

Kelly wordlessly reaches for her son’s hand and lets him pull her up to stand, brush sand off for her in return this time. Thankfully the five dollar Target backpack Kelly snagged the week before (“It’s gonna come in handy, just you wait”) accommodates all their towels on top of their sunscreen and extra clothes, especially since they’ve upgraded from sandals to real shoes now that they’re going to be trekking across the beach.

Jack handles the map, even though it’s a straight line down the coast to the other side of the park. He’s just happy to guide the way.

Between the moments of chatter and quiet revelations about their surroundings, Kelly finds Castiel’s hand next to hers and gives it a quick squeeze. Whether it’s to reassure him or herself, he’ll take it and take it happily. She takes to motherhood with a grace he could never imagine in anyone else, but in their dark moments she confides her fears and her struggles, shares them with him and allows him to help her bare the weight. They’re both a little more than lost, he thinks.

Jack is happy to guide them, with or without a map.

Later, just as they begin their trip back from the rocky cove, Castiel takes a picture for Dean of the sun dipping down against the horizon, warm yellows and reds bleeding across the water and kissing color everywhere it touches. Together, the Klines watched it set, leaving just before the light completely left and darkness took over the sky. The three of them stood on the rocks, letting the crabs crawl across their shoes and back down into the water.

Maybe he can have this, Castiel thinks. Maybe he’s allowed to keep this and not lose either side.

Back on the main beach, the sky goes a bruised blue. Castiel sees the flash of green before the sun disappears, coming back around slowly but surely to greet them again tomorrow. He thinks about that green flash for a very long time. He thinks about how sunshine feels on his face, on his skin, how it felt to greet the earth again when the Empty spat him out and gave him his breath back.

He thinks of Dean. All he could think that day, his body singing with it, was how to get to home to Dean.

“I miss you.” He hits send. He puts his phone on silent.

Ahead of him, Jack asks his mother if they can build a campfire.

He’ll keep this. For as long as the universe will let him and even beyond, he’ll fight to keep this.

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: i know i put it in the tags but this is time-stamped post 13.06 so instead of tombstone happening, cas and kelly both come back (thanks to jack) and spend a few weeks at the bunker before deciding to go back to north cove. just wanted to clear that up!


End file.
